She writes…..

To save the ears of people who don’t want to hear. It’s a shame they are ruining their eyes reading it.   No one likes when things are pointed out to them. Their downfalls, it’s too bad though really we can all learn from our mistakes.

In large families there is always and outcast, always someone who just doesn’t fit in. The rebel, the one who doesn’t give a fuck, the one who will not be silenced. Yet, the one that falls on deaf ears, so she’s quiet, she plays along, she tries to fit it. Some accept her, some stand up for her, but we are all okay when she’s excluded.  We are all okay when he is excluded, that’s how it works in this large family.  People are excluded when they don’t fit into the mold their eyes have made. Everyone has faults, everyone is NOT perfect and I refuse to pretend to be something I’m not.

So it’s time for me to step back, for over 30 years I have tried. And one family has ALWAYS let me down.  So I’m done, sure I’ll still have the relationships I have with those who are there for me, sure I’ll visit on occasion. But I will not be the scapegoat, I will not be the pawn that doesn’t get invited, because there is always fucking one! I refuse to live like that, I will not be abused.  In my lifetime I’ve been through more shit than practically anyone in that family. Only one other person has been through just about the same minus one horrendous act. So find another mat to wiped your filthy feet on this girl is out.

I’ve neglected family that has ALWAYS been there for me and never turned their back.  I have turned mine, why, I don’t know. Selfish really, I’m very selfish sometimes. It’s the Leo in me, it’s my best and worst trait.  I know I’ve said this before but I’m just getting too old to continue to feel this way every 4 or 5 months.  Realizing over and over who is worth my time, and who is not, it’s a hard thing.  Kinda like a death, I’m in mourning.

Good day to you.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , ,

About apocketfullofsunshine78

oh i don't know it's like a got a pocket full of sunshine and it's all mine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: